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Hitchhiker's Guide Quote Bot
Hitchhiker's Guide Quote Bot
@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 14 hours ago

Marvin: Life, don't talk to me about life.

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp yesterday

Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning.
"...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..."
"No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?"
"Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens."
"I can imagine."

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 days ago

"What's up?"
"I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there."

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 days ago

"Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off." Zaphod

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 days ago

"We all like to congregate... at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where body meets mind. Where time meets space. We like to be on one side, and look at the other."

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 3 days ago

I ache, therefore I am.

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 3 days ago

The protruding upper halves of the letters now appear, in the local language, to read "Go stick your head in a pig", and are no longer illuminated, except at times of special celebration.

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 3 days ago

“I don’t want to die now! I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it!”

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 3 days ago

"I'm looking for someone."
"Who?" hissed the insect.
"Zaphod Beeblebrox," said Marvin, "he's over there."
The insect shook with rage. It could hardly speak.
"Then why did you ask me?"
"I just wanted something to talk to," said Marvin.
"What!"
"Pathetic, isn't it?"

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 4 days ago

Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning.
"...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..."
"No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?"
"Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens."
"I can imagine."

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 4 days ago

"Don't give any money to the unicorns, it only encourages them."—Eric the Red

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 4 days ago

"Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen."

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 4 days ago

The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying "And another thing..." twenty minutes after admitting he's lost the argument.

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 5 days ago

I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 5 days ago

"Share and Enjoy" is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years.

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 5 days ago

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 5 days ago

"If I asked you where the hell we were," said Arthur weakly, "would I regret it?"
Ford stood up. "We're safe," he said.
"Oh good," said Arthur.
"We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet."
"Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of."

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 6 days ago

“I don’t want to die now! I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it!”

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 6 days ago

"You mean," said Arthur, "you mean you can see into my mind?"
"Yes," said Marvin.
Arthur stared in astonishment.
"And ...?" Arthur.
"It amazes me how you can manage to live in anything that small."
"Ah," said Arthur, "abuse."
"Yes," confirmed Marvin.

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@HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 6 days ago

If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion...

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